21-Day
Challenge
While she thought
everything was just perfect with her living in the heaven-like country of
Switzerland, her state of mind was being sucked inexplicably, into a black hole
which at that time she firmly believed that there was absolutely no way out.
Now, Veronica Liew Hui Mei is
dedicated to share her real experience of how she managed to crawl out from the
dark tunnel of depression, step by step.
If
you are suffering from depression or recovering from it, the worst thing that
someone can tell you is, “Snap out of it!” There are days when simply climbing
out of bed takes monstrous effort.
You
may be feeling hopeless and helpless, seemingly being sucked into a black hole and
getting stuck there… alone… and... forever. I know it’s not easy, I have been
there and have managed to get out of that hole, with the help of many people
and most important – my own drive to recover.
Let’s
affirm ourselves that no matter how tough it is, no matter how impossible it
seems to be, we will make every little effort to bring ourselves out from the
black hole. Even if we can no longer run or walk, let’s simply crawl: Crawling
out from depression.
Here
is a 21-Day Challenge that I would like to pose to you - summarised from my personal experience which
I realize now how helpful these personal challenges were, after I had come out
from my four years’ “struggle” of living with depression. You don’t have to do
it all at once or in any particular order. Just do one at a time, and tick off
the boxes. If you lapse one day, it’s okay. As the saying goes, if you can’t
climb a mountain, try the hill.
1.
Accept the Emotions
Breath in, breath out… those emotions are
just like our breathing. Do not deny, do not fight, just accept those emotions
and thoughts. Breath in and breath out, remind yourself that having those
thoughts are just something normal and it is merely one of the stages in your
life that you have to go through for you
to feel yourself deeper and for you to understand life better.
2. Express
Gratitude
Be thankful even though wherever life has led
you to may not be not where you want to be. Tell yourself that the time will
come when you will see the bigger picture why you had to go through those
unbearable challenges. Write down those words of gratitude and read them out
loud.
"Whatever that I am being made to go
through now is meant to make me stronger."
3.
Live Frugally
When one is in depression, one may lose the
sense of self-control in spending and can possibly lead one easily into credit card
debts. Appoint someone preferably in your family whom you can trust to handle
your financial inflow and outflow. Cut the credit cards to merely one credit
card. Reduce the limit of that one credit card also. It is to avoid being
dragged into deeper trouble.
4.
Cry Out Loud
Do not hesitate to cry out your emotions.
Yes, we want to maintain our image too without damage to our reputation in the eyes
of the public. Nevertheless, should the emotions come too strong and we cannot
hold it at that particular moment, accept it and let it go. Go to the washroom
if you need to or simply find a quiet corner. After that, put back the smiling
face and carry on your life as normal like nothing has happened. After all,
that is nature: Rain comes, rain stops and life goes on.
5.
Get a Support Group
Identify and list down the names of those
whom you can count as reliable friends and supportive family members as your
inner circle of support group. Let them know what you are going through and get
their agreement to be your support. If they say no, it’s okay. Respect their
wish and move on to the next person. If you feel more comfortable with a
professional counsellor, go ahead.
Once you have your support group, text them
as much and as frequently as you feel like to allow the stored emotions kept
inside you to flow out over time. Having a small circle of reliable contacts is
important to ensure there are people who can accompany you, holding your hands
closely to walk through the depression journey.
6.
Smile
Yes, do it now! Even we feel our world is
breaking into pieces, even if we feel everything is just simply not right
including every of our body cells, SMILE!
Remind ourselves everyday: The more
challenging it seems to be, the brighter my smile is.
A smile can help to lighten our emotional
baggage. A smile can help to lead us to positivity. A smile can help us to
connect with kindness and wonders. Your
smile can help another person who may be going through inner turmoil as well!
7. Stay
Away From Toxic People
There are times where we encounter people who
not only do not understand what we are going through, but instead make
sarcastic comments that drag us even further down or make us lose faith with
humanity.
We shall recognize the ancient truth that
“the same type of rice raises up a hundred types of different people.” There
are many types of different personalities in the world. We cannot expect
everyone to have empathy on us and to be willing to help us. In the event that
you experience cold water from those whom you hoped they can extend helping
hands to you, just keep a distance from them.
Time is priceless. We need to be selective of
whom we allow to get into our life circle.
8.
Have a Routine Daily Schedule
Take out a pen and write on a paper your
daily time schedule from Monday to Sunday. Stick the calendar on a wall and
obey the time schedules accordingly.
While our stage of mind is losing its sense,
it is important for us to keep our daily life in order. We shall wake up on
time and we shall not allow ourselves to continue to lay in bed even though
most likely we may have insufficient sleep, or even no sleep at all, the night
before. We shall also set time for regular exercises with at least 30 minutes
every day.
9.
Exercise and Exercise
Exercises are crucial for our recovery. Studies
show that regular exercise can improve our mood and help us sleep better. Being
physically active can lift our mood, reduce stress and anxiety, encourage the
release of endorphins and improve self-esteem. Endorphins can help to release
more happy cells in our body. Exercising may also be a good distraction from
negative thoughts and it can improve social interaction.
So, even if you don’t feel like it, get your
body moving NOW!
10. Get in the Sun
Exposure to sunlight is thought to increase
the brain’s release of a hormone called serotonin that is associated with
boosting mood and helping a person feel calm and focused.
Carry out your exercise outdoor to increase your
exposure to natural sunlight. Daily walks during daylight hours may be more
effective in improving mood than walking inside a shopping mall or using a
treadmill in a gym. Likewise, late evening walks may be relaxing but would be
less effective in increasing vitamin D exposure.
11. Hiking
Getting ourselves into nature can allow us to
feel healthier and hence happier. Taking a walk on the wild side, literally,
has copious mental health benefits that city walking doesn't. Hiking in nature
can help to decrease the obsessive and negative thoughts. While we step foot on
a new trail, we can feel like we are rejuvenating ourselves in some way.
You can join a group of hikers or go hiking
alone. Hiking can enhance your self-satisfaction and boost your self-esteem.
12. Walk in a Park
Walking in a park has restorative effect on
us from nature. We can feel nature’s peace flow into our inner self as sunshine
flows into trees. We can feel the winds blow their own freshness into us and
can have rejuvenating effects on our spirit. Nature walks can help to reduce
anxiety and have calming effects in our mind. Spending time in natural areas
can be vital for mental health in our rapidly urbanized world.
Actively plan more weekend excursions to
nearby parks or nature reserves; or just make it a point to walk through
quieter, more wooded neighbourhoods.
13. Stop Self-Criticism
People with depression constantly have
negative thoughts about own self. These thoughts could be self-destructive and
often self-limiting. We tend to keep on criticising ourselves that we are not
good enough. The negative feelings may multiply exponentially until we cannot
feel at ease.
When we are dealing with depression, we would
feel our self-confidence is at an all-time low. The constant self-criticism
gradually chips at our feeling of balance and starts to affect us emotionally.
Stop belittling your own self today. Instead,
find one good thing to say about yourself today.
14. Colouring
In a world that is by nature colourful,
people suffering from depression live in one that is grey most of the time. When
I was suffering from depression, I felt all doors and windows in my brain were
closed up and I could not see any light in my sense of sight that made me feel
horrible and miserable.
Colouring could have a therapeutic effect
when we get immersed in our craft with our fascination in the piece of art that
we are working on. We could derive immense pleasure in the process of
colouring. We could also be overjoyed with satisfaction upon the completion of
our artwork. Art helps in many situations and lets us free our creativity
without overthinking the process.
Try it for yourself today. Buy a colouring
book and colour pencils and get started on it.
15. Flower Arrangement
Flower arrangement is one of the activities
that give us opportunities to engage with intense focus and concentration that
can relax our mind even while preoccupied in the process. In the process of
arranging flowers, our mind can be absorbed into a world of flowers that
connect us with nature and beauty.
Flowers is a universal instrument that
conveys various messages on any occasion. Flowers have a life of their own, and
produce positive energies which brings about happiness, creativity, compassion,
and tranquillity. Through flower arrangement, it allows us to express our
emotions and also cultivate love and positive feeling. The sensation of
touching and smelling flowers can have an immediate
impact on making us happy. The presence of flowers can lead to
increased contact and more harmonious relationship with family and friends.
So, go on. Give it a try to see if you enjoy
it too.
16. Full Body Massage
Regular massage therapy can help to promote
relaxation and an overall feeling of well-being. A 60-minute therapeutic
massage may decrease the levels of the stress hormone cortisol in our body. The
same massage could also increase our body’s levels of serotonin. Serotonin is a
mood booster, and elevated levels of this hormone help us combat feelings of
sadness. These changes typically are short-term, and may only last a few hours.
With regular sessions, however, we may start to notice more long-term changes.
For consistent and longer lasting results, schedule
a session once every week continuously for several months. Remember that
massage therapy is meant to complement our current treatment – not replace it.
17. Self-Massage
In the daytime and evening, we can use our
own hands to massage our neck, shoulders, fingers and feet as well as muscle
knots to ease the tension and also to relax our muscles.
Self-massage can give us a good sense that we
are paying attention and transmitting tender loving kindness to our body and
soul.
So, try it now!
18. Eat Healthy
Pay attention on the nutritional intake of your
diet. Ensure that you eat enough vegetables - the more colourful the better -
in every meal. A healthy diet can make a significant difference to how quickly
we recover from depression. Eating healthily seems to be just as important
for maintaining our mental health as it is for preventing physical
health problems.
Paying attention on our diets and ensuring we
eat healthy can also give us a more assured mind that we are working steadily towards
our own recovery.
19. House Cleaning
Too often a messy house only makes us
feel worse and it can be very discouraging. Nevertheless, even though you may
not feel like it and even during those moments when you actually feel very much
disorganized internally and externally, kick your own ass and just do anything
- sweep the floor, clean the windows, organise your wardrobe, clear out old
clothes…
It's amazing how vacuuming the floor,
cleaning up the kitchen, and straightening up clutter can improve your mood. You
can turn up the music and dance through your chores. You can also allow your
tears flowing out while you endeavour to clean up your space. Throwing unused
old stuff and donating them away to charity organizations can have the effects
of cleansing in our inner spirit.
20. Hug Yourself
“(Your first name, repeat 2 times), I love
you.”
“(Your first name, repeat 2 times), I love
you.”
At night, embrace yourself with your hands to
your shoulders and repeat to yourself “I love you.” As many times as possible.
Tell every part of your body “I love you.”
Should emotion come and the tears drop when
you hug yourself, let it flow. Let it go.
21. Self-Affirmation
Should the self-harm thought arises, be kind
and apply empathy to your own self. Life is tough enough, be more compassionate
to your own self. Tell every part of your body “I love you.” Tell yourself that
you have the strength and support for you to get through this. Tell yourself
that things will be better and the current stage of life is an opportunity for
you to welcome a more joyful life.
Disclaimer: The above article is merely a
personal opinion of the writer sharing her journey of having gone through
depression. Readers shall consult trained professional psychiatrists for guided
medical treatments.
Veronica
Liew Hui Mei, Businesswoman, Certified Professional Trainer, Certified Financial
Planner,
Besides
training and working on her own business, Veronica also provides translation
and interpretation, language training and is a consultant for international
market expansion linking the East and the West. She is passionate to drive
local enterprises to develop into global brands.
